August 3rd or 4th


Boiled Okra and Tomatoes


Last week I had lunch with my father-in-law at an assisted living house. He invited me, had a special table set up for the two of us and pulled out my chair in chivalrous fashion. My father-in-law's name is Mr. Thweatt, Mr. T., for short, and he's 94, almost 95 years old.

I am amazed by him. In April this year, Lance's mother, Mr. T's wife, died after many complication from a heart bypass. She had the bypass in October and never really got the quality of life she wanted.

A few months after is when Mr. T. decided to go into assisted living, and not because he can't function, but because he decided that it would ease everyone's mind to know that there were people around to help him at all times. He still has his house four blocks away; we can it his vacation house. He visits it several times a week.

Mr. T. has decided to buy a new computer and learn email and web surfing. He has decorated his room with golf and Braves memorabilia. He bought a bookcase and put it together himself. Then he bought a desk and was in the process of putting it together when I went to visit him. His son asked him why he didn't pay to get it put together and he said that he has plenty of time and it would save him $75.

That's how I want to be as I get older...Useful, excited for each day to come, learn something new. I have been taught by Mr. T. and also another family member from my growing up years.

When I was young, we would often go to Oklahoma City to visit my great aunt Ollie. She was full of life although her life was not full. She married at age 15 at 6 a.m to her first husband. The traveling preacher came through town at that time and so that's why the early wedding. After the wedding, they each went to work. Her husband then died when she was 30. She lived with family members for several years until she turned 60. That's when she married Mr. Miller who basically wanted someone to cook and clean for him. After his death, she moved to our small town and lived in a little apartment.

As a high school student, I went to visit her about once a week. One of the times she had just finished fixing her lunch and asked me to eat with her...It was boiled okra and tomatoes. I couldn't hurt her feelings so I decided to spin the food around and make yummy sounds so it would seem like I had eaten some. It, possibly, was the worst meal in my life. It makes me gag to think of it.

Every time I got ready to go from my weekly visits, Aunt Ollie wanted to give me something, anything, it was her way of thanking me for coming over. Many times, it was a pretty card that someone had sent her. Sometimes it was two or three postage stamps so I could write someone. She liked it best when i would just sit and watch the Billy Graham crusade or PLT with Jim and Tammy Baker with her.

What I know from these two elderly people I admire is that to be productive to the end, I must do the following:

1. Face the facts--Mr. Thweatt faced the fact that he needed to be looked after for meals and medical problems so he placed himself in the assisted living.

2. Learn something new--Mr. T. decided to learn the computer at 94.

3. Do what we can for ourselves--he still had the ability to put a desk together and so he did.

4. Do what we have to do without griping--Ollie got married at 15 and then went to work and later accepted her place to basically be Mr. Miller's maid and cook.

5. Give what we have--I never left Ollie's house without getting some kind of trinket.


I pray that God will remind me to live like this now, and then maybe later it will be ingrained into me. It's never too early to have the wisdom of the old.

Until next post,

J-lou aka Mama Chick