REFLECTIONS FROM MAMA CHICK

Yesterday was an interesting day, in history and in my life. It was the 5th year anniversary of Sept. 11. Lance and I were talking about why it is that a 5th, 10th or 20th...anniversary seems poignant. It just seemed to us that we reacted with more indepth thought than say the 2nd, 3rd or 4th year anniversary of 9/11. We watched news clips, T.V. shows and read magazine articles like the attacks had just happened.

I delved into the survivor's "how life goes on" stories. I wanted to know how everyone was doing. Part of the raw emotion was gone, but there were "forever" tears in their eyes as they talked of how to live as a survivor of the unthinkable.

To me, the question of this generation is, "Where were you on Sept. 11, 2001?" This reminded me of an earlier question of "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" or just as stopping as the discussion of the Depression that my grandparents talked about. These are telling statements of deep emotions that people must face.

I call these "earthquake moments" where the ground shakes beneath us and we don't even know if we are going to survive. Many of us have had personal ground upheavals with a death of a loved one, a divorce, a betrayal or a diagnosis.

My personal pivot that stopped my world always struts its stuff this time of year. Twelve years ago in September, I was minding my own business when I went to the doctor for a routine blood test and within a day, my world had changed. I found out that I had leukemia. After trying to take such news in, and telling my children and family, I went through many gyrations such as totally falling apart to forming a plan to have hope to nightmares to delving into my faith, I began a new starting point on which to measure life. I have many stories about how I faced cancer; those might be other blogs later. It's just that September is when I was diagnosed and September is when the terrorist attacks happened and so they seem to be a combined reflection.

Deep emotional reflection is what I saw on the faces of the survivors of 9/11. Yes, they had continued with their lives and they had questioned why and had raised
their children and had even learned to laugh again, but their moist eyes told a story that would never be forgotten. By their deep sighs, I knew that this incident would only be a gulp away from tears.

I am teary as I write this. Is it because of cancer or terrorist attack? What I think is that I'm teary over how God envelopes us at our lowest and gives us hope and hope and hope again.

Hope is my favorite word. If anyone reading this ever finds themselves needing hope, I'd like to be the friend that walks you to the place of having our Father hold you and sway you and keep you in a blanket of hope until you are comforted.

Until next time,

Mama Chick